Only in China: The car seems consuming wood!

Some Chinese people are not get used to law enforcement or not willing to comply with the laws or regulations.

Cars are subject to have an emission check every two years, but there are some "exceptions".

One day I was taking a taxi in Beijing, a car in front of ours blowing out black gas from the exhaust!

I was puzzled.

"Oh, man. The car seems consuming wood!" the driver explained.

有一次，在我们坐的车前面一辆车的尾气非常浑浊，冒着好大一股黑烟，司机来了一句：“前边这车是烧劈(pǐ)柴的吧。”

Only in China: Nice stockings not for a used car driver!

开富康的看不起开夏利的。看见夏利司机居然戴着白手套，这位不服气了，“哟哟哟，嗬，开个破夏利还穿着白袜子！”

To be translated into English.

Only in China: "I am the sewer"

A man was so sad to see a doctor and complained: "I feel stomachache".
After a careful examination, the doctor said "Your stomach is OK. You just have depression".
"Two weeks ago, a man had similar simptom coming to see me. He owes money to a sewer. I told him to forget it that everything will be fine. He did. A few days later, he told me he was great"
"Yes, doctor. He is fine now and I feel so painful"
"What's it?" the doctor replied.
"I am the sewer!" the patient said.

Only in China: Feel the pulse.

"You are OK" doctor said while he had been feeling the pulse of the patient.
"Your pulse is running exactly even as a clock does" He continued.
"But...Doctor" the patient argued "you put your finger on my watch!"

Only in China: Best evidence

A senior patient was complaining to a doctor that he felt pain in his left foot.

"It is probably associated with your age" the doctor said.

"Absolutely not" the patient continued "because my left foot is as old as the right one!"

Only in China: Who should be blamed for the Tiananmen Square killings?

Two wise men are talking about Ron Reagon's death.

"How old was he diagonosed as AD?"

"84?"

"When did Deng Xiaoping order to fire the students?"

"85!"

"Who should have been blamed for the killings on 89' June 4 in China ?"

"His private doctors."

.......................................

"But he was diagonosed as Pakinson's disease,not AD..."

"Then that's June 4 medical tragedy"

Only in China: A director's banquet.

Chinese people use banquet for certain purposes, which is very common in
China. A new director loves the young beatiful lady secretary so much, but he has a wife! He has a plan...he pretends to host his staffs with best dishes.

When they were enjoying their cuisine, it was black out. And suddenly his wife cried: "Who were trying to touch my hip?"

"No" All the others answered except the director.

After returning home the director's wife said "I am very smart. I took the ring off as evidence when someone was touching my hip."

"But it is my ring."

The next day, when the director went to the office, he reprimanded his staffs seriously ". Why did you guys change seat with my wife?"

The young beaulful lady was supposed to be next to the director...

Now the director has another plan to touch her hip...

Only in China: Are you drunken?

Two men were drunken,but neither one admitted it.

One took out a flashlight and turned on to the roof of the room. So there was a beam of light.

"Hi, buddy, climb on to the top of the pole." He referred the beam as a "pole".

"Come on, my dear" He continued "If I were on the top of the pole and you turned off the flashlight, I would fall down to death!"

Based on famous Chinese comic Hou Baolin.